In the First-Degree
A small amount of light came from the barred window above my head as I finished the last curl in my long black hair, recalling my memories. As I thought about it, I realized how much time had passed. It had been six months since I was able to stand outside and feel the sun on my caramelized skin. I could feel my attorneys gaze upon me as I mused, as she stood on the other side of the iron bars of my dark and clammy cell.
She was a woman of average height accompanied by a slim build, the latter of which I assumed was due to an active and healthy lifestyle. Her sleek black hair flowed down her shoulders, pale skin glistening softly from underneath it. Her brown eyes never wavered as my eyes met hers. She was an experienced attorney from what she explained during her first initial visit with me, once the case wound up on her desk at the Silvergrove Hills attorneys office two months ago. She must have reminded me on ten different occasions that this was her first case of this kind of magnitude. Whether she knew me or the situation in its entirety, or what her reservations were about it, my future was in her hands.
As she stood there, continuing to watch me carefully, out of the corner of my eye, I could see that her hands were visibly shaking from the weight of the bulky white and brown box that included a hefty sheaf of papers that were related to my case.
”Are you ready for today? ” she asked. I turned to her, grabbing my slippers before replying.
”No. I know what Im up against, though. I wish everyone would understand enough to realize why this happened, ” I said sharply, slipping my shoes on. ”Im not a bad person. Nowhere near it. ”
For the first time since I was arrested, I felt incredibly angry. I knew how much trouble I was going to be in for the mistakes I chose to make. I knew that what Id done would never be forgiven or forgotten, but what nobody knew was that I loved him. I was ready and willing to put everything on the line for him, and, at the time, I didn dare to think about how the consequences of my actions could have impacted my life so harshly. I was broken when he came into my life, mourning my parents death.
He knew that and continued to take advantage of my sadness and grief. By doing so, he was able to get away. I, unfortunately, was not so lucky.
I took one last look in the mirror, swearing to myself that I was going to remain calm, cool and collected. I was strong and wouldn dare break today. At the very least, not in front of everyone. I knew my defense was going to be stoic, but in the back of my mind, I feared that it may not be enough to save me. With the little background information I had in my defense, she appeared to be a very strong woman. She was maybe too lenient with me, but I suspected that she was aware of my guilt, even though, she always seemed to understand where both my head and heart lay. I ran my fingers along my temple